Finding Home

When you've lived in in nineteen cities (in seven countries), you don't really get the concept of “home.” People ask me where I'm from, and I don't know how to answer. “But where do you think of as home?” they ask. And I choose whichever city pops into my head first. It's easier to make something up than to suffer the strange stare of incomprehension that follows if I insist that I have no concept of home.

It was slightly reassuring to discover recently that I'm part of a sizable group referred to as “global nomads.” And from the online resources, it seems that we all suffer a bit in our emotional homelessness.

What's interesting, though, is that I've noticed a change in the past two years. I'm finding home. And it's not exactly where I expected it to be.

What's even more fascinating is that I'm not the only one. In fact, there seems to be something of a global phenomenon.

For me, the sensation first arose in sort of predictable circumstances. I'd lived in Montreal for four years with my husband and our two young children. We'd bought a house and settled into it. And we'd developed certain routines in our neighborhood. So the standard ingredients were in place. But the feeling of home hadn't really hit yet. Then one evening the four of us were dancing together in the playroom to a Will.I.Am song from the Madagascar 2 soundtrack:

"I've been around the world in the pouring rain,
Feeling out of place, really feeling strange,
Take me to a place, where they know my name
Cause I ain't met nobody that looks the same...

It's good to have someone, good to have someone,
To relate to, to relate to...

See I've been traveling, traveling forever
But now that I've found a home,
Feels like I'm in heaven."

As I looked at my little family – people I could “relate” to both literally and figuratively – I felt this rush of groundedness and connection and love. This must be what home feels like, I thought. I'd found it at last. And it really did feel like heaven (and still does!).

Days later, I arrived at a three-day retreat called The Art of Hosting. (The full title is something like The Art of Hosting Meaningful Conversations About Things That Matter and That Lead to Lasting Change.) Forty people had gathered for an immersive learning experience that created almost immediate intimacy, even though most of us had never met before. And over the three days, I discovered a group of people who spoke my language, who cared about the things I was passionate about, who understood me completely, it seemed. And that Will.I.Am song kept playing in my head:

"I need my people, my people, take me to my people..."

These are my people, I thought. And with that same sense of groundedness, connection and love, I thought: this is home, too.

Finding “my people” gave me courage to speak more openly about the things I believed in – if there were 39 of them at the retreat, there might be more! And the more I spoke up, the more of them I discovered. It became something of an obsession. I scheduled conversations almost every day; I joined 30 LinkedIn groups and participated in at least as many online discussions, all in search of my “tribe.” And to my surprise, they were there, wherever I looked. The feeling of home settled deeper. Maybe it wasn't in any place; maybe it was in the relationships with people, in the sense of belonging and of being seen and understood and valued.

Then, a few months ago, toward the end of a workshop I was teaching about my most passionate convictions – recognizing and nurturing the life in our organizations and ourselves - one of the participants said, “The concepts you're offering us are so challenging because they go against assumptions we've held for decades. And at the same time, they feel like home.” I loved that. Home as something you recognize at a deep level, as if it is part of you that you've reconnected with after a long separation.

Soon after the workshop, a newly discovered member of my “tribe” sent me an email affirming my work and its contribution to humanity's “sacred journey Home.” He wrote about the important task of reintegrating ourselves with the Earth and each other. And in this renewed wholeness, we find home. This is such a powerful concept. And I feel it.

Home. Hosting. Wholeness. Big, expansive concepts that are not, in the end, tied to any one place but to our connection with each other and with all of life.

Finally, today I came across this pearl of wisdom from personal coach Julie Daley:

“When you know, deep in your heart, deep in your bones, that who and what you are is sacred, beautiful and worthy, you’ve come home to yourself.”

I find that so many of us are feeling called to make the “sacred journey Home” in our connection with the Earth and each other. And in making that journey, we are coming home to ourselves.

At either end of the journey, it seems that home truly is where the heart is.

Beautiful, moving, touching. Thanks Michelle, once again.

So beautiful and moving Michelle. I only met you for the first time yesterday, but I know and feel privileged that we are from the same tribe. I look forward to amazing opportunities to serve together. Lianne

Beautifully written. So many of us are searching for Home and you have shown us that it is within as well as connected to "our people, our tribe." Most of all, it is LOVE - for ourselves, each other, the earth. Please keep writing and speaking the Future into existence for all of us!

Dear Michelle,

I'm so grateful! Reading your blog I too find that I've been on this journey, moving to a new city not knowing a SOUL. My heart cried out for connection. The journey to find that special place, yes, discovering where can I put my roots deep into the ground, not only in the literal sense as that's so important to me (the need to be connected to nature) but every aspect of my being wants to feel connection. First, the connection to myself, (the I AM, how am I being in the world) my family (it's an electronic connection these days as they are all in Calif & UK) and my extended family- yes, where are my kindred spirits.
There is an element in my life I've always called "grace" today there are many ways to describe the magic of being in the perfect place at the exact moment so that everything lines up "perfectly"... Deepak Chopra describes this magic beautifully in his book "The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire." I feel blessed that my life has been touched by this grace, and I've met so many amazingly beautiful souls here in Montreal. I do feel that my desires to connect, stepping out, and courageously speaking out, created the opportunities to meet my community. Yes, I am feeling a community being birthed among the many kindred spirits here and now. And boy it feels so good!
How wonderful that we can recognize that we are all connected, and what a treat it is to create the opportunities to BE TOGETHER!
Thank you, for creating such rich, insightful and engaging moments for folks like me and you and the many other who are also seeking meaningful connection!

Someone said that the longest journey is from mind to heart.
And what a journey it is !
E-volving, e-connecting, e-merging

Thank you Michelle, your words bring solace and courage to my quest.

 Thank you all for these wonderful comments!  

Good to take a journey into your thinking and being Michelle. Thank you for this. For sharing your slideshow also.

And to find tribe, grow tribe, be tribe.

My sense is that we are remembering a wholeness and how to apply that to our thinking in self, nature, community, organizations. A few things that we've forgotten over the years and generations, but that are now becoming familiar again. Kind of like a few generations that don't know how to ride a bike, but because they did a few generations back, it is somehow familiar in the muscles and remembered now.

'The longest road you will ever walk is the sacred journey from your head to your heart' - Peter Senge, in 'Presence'

Thanks, Neelash, for sharing the quote that Maya (above) was referring to.  And what a great source.  (Sounds like I'm making a pun, since that book talks extensively about Source!)

This is a beautiful piece written on the concept of home. I have travelled a lot, lived in many different places and what you have written really speaks to me.

 Thank you, Scott.  Glad that my words reached another global nomad. :-)

Great article. Having lived in many countries, I definitely felt the same reading it. BTW your TedX talk http://tedxconcordia.com/talks/michelle-holliday/ was totally amazing!

 Thanks, Mohd!!  So glad to be collaborating with you! 

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